themarspatrol

There will be a common theme throughout this feature. You'll look at the cover, wince, and then, after reading the album title and artist, you'll scratch your head.

They're still releasing music in 2009?

Ygnwie Malmsteen, the world's favorite guitar douche who can't actually write a decent song, released this all-acoustic, all-instrumental record early this year. Yawn. What's important here, however, is the extremely overexposed wankery going on up above.

What does this mean? I don't understand. Is she playing solitaire? Is she counting dolla dolla bills, y'all? What is going on here? Why is she sitting on the edge of the chair? Why is she dressed like that? Most importantly, what the fuck does this have to do with the record's name or themes?

If I have to play 20 questions to understand what your album cover means, it sucks. Flat out.